Dispensing Knowledge and Wisdom in Physics, Chemistry, and Dangerous Demonstrations with Tall Tales and Unreliable Memories.

What More Could You Want?

Testimonials From Teachers, Students and others who insisted on being heard.

Elza was more than a teacher. He was a friend to all. He took money from his own pockets to buy us more hot glue and popsickle sticks... after we had wasted materials and put ourselves over budget. He convinced the Board that a trip to Cedar Point was an educational experience, and because of Elza, I'd say it probably was. He treated us as adults, and let us waste his dry-erase markers to make a 11'x4' color portrayal of a Christmas-themed war-zone. He let Misner and me make a carrot rifle for our senior project.  --Billy S in PA

When our class had a dispute about whether James Bond was a ladies' man or a man's man, we asked Elza. "Elza say ladies' man, and we all know Elza is always right."  --Billy S in PA

Mr. Elza been very good to me. He give me 5 dollars and I buy cheeto, Slim Jims, and a Mt. Dew.  I like him.  I want another 5 dollars.   --JL in BelPre

Though I never knew Jim Elza, I owe him more than I can say.  Well, I was in a bad car wreck and they brought my broken body to the hospital where I was literally put back together by a doctor whose skill were nothing short of miraculous.  When I came back to lucidity, I thanked him for reattaching my head to my torso and he quietly said in a deep and meaningful voice; "No, don't thank me, thank the man who taught me chemistry and physics and got me through med school.  Thank Mr Elza."  Thank you Mr Elza, I was rather attached to my head and thanks to you, I have been reattached.  --Bill D

Elza always taught by the Momma Bird method... pushing the babies off the cliff so they learn how fly. He gave us problem sheets to work out cooperatively, but was always there to answer questions. Stoichiometry became so ingrained in my mind, that when I had my first college Chemistry exam, I scored 104% (maybe my professor added the 4% when he heard I was taught by the Master).   --BS

"I was a sad little hack teacher and I was filling my students heads with inaccuracies and lies.  Jim Elza remolded me with his methodologies and now I am beloved and brilliant.  All my students are successful and I even kept my job.  I owe it all to Mr. Elza." -- LK in Ohio

"After Getting Mr. E's input, I decided that splitting the beer atom was fraught with too many dangers and I have decided to become a bartender.  I am sooooo much happier now!  Thank you Mr. E!"  --Freshman college student in O.U.

"I encountered Jim on the banks of the Ohio river where I was contemplating ending my existence.  You see, my life hadn't been too good since high school when I failed to learn dimensional analysis in physics class.  I had heard of Lonesome Jim, the guy who played guitar from the cliffs along the river but I had never heard his songs before.  So there I was, scraping together my resolve to jump, when off in the distance I heard this music that spoke to the very heart of my problems.  I don't remember all the words but the refrain went something like; 'it's never too late to learn dimensional analysis, It's as easy as pie..."  Well, I was so taken aback that I went to a diner, ordered some fresh blueberry pie, then enrolled in college the very next day as a physics major.  I graduate this June and I already have a job lined up in the solar power industry.  I only just realized who Lonesome Jim was and I had to tell my story."  --CP in Kentucky

...When you talk to Elza, you know you're talking to a man that has seen many explosions, and knows the wimpy from the truly destructive.  In 11th grade chemistry, I had a running tally of over 10 broken items, including a hot beaker that magically turned into a watch glass as soon as I added water. Elza never scolded me about it; he probably remembered the day little Jim performed the same magic trick.  --BS

Quotes, Possibly From The Jim Elza: 

"He who does the most talking does the most learning"

"Billy, are you being unsafe?"

"Why are you tired? (talking to another teacher) It's the students who should be tired!"

"You made a BUCKYBALL!"

"If they don't do it they are not learning--lab material breakage is part of the learning process, and fun to watch." 

"Students today don't listen, so, just give them their assignment, watch their puzzled faces, and wait for them to ask a question.  When they do, you know they're listening."

"If you enjoy your students, they will see that.  Students who know you like them will work for you through the difficult material."